Comparison is Dangerous

I hate being compared to fellow singles of a certain age. Frankly, I hate being compared to anyone. No one is like me and I’m not like anyone. I’m my own person. No one else has had and/or taken the same chances and experiences as me. Yes, circumstances can be similar, but it is not enough for comparison.

I recently joined a couple of Facebook groups: Solo Women Travel Tribe and Fat Girls Traveling. Each group speaks to a part of me: independent/solo and fat.

1) I have always been an independent, make my own way type person. If I waited around on other people to get their crap together, I would never go anywhere. So if I want to go and I can? I will go it alone. Going to India alone was scary and enlightening and I loved it.

2) It’s not easy traveling as a fluffy, curvy, plus size, larger, big-boned, insert your own definition here, woman. Let’s be honest. I’m fat; I own it. I still have a life to live and that life means traveling as much as I can. I’m not a fan of praying that the airline seat belt fits or being very cognizant of letting my arm and elbow hit a seatmate, but I’ll deal with it to be sure I mark another fabulous place off my list.

Both of these things are things so many other women deal with and I had no idea until I stumbled upon these groups. I am not nearly as alone as I thought I was in my desires and actions. Other women have the same struggles and hopes and dreams that I do. The women of these two groups are AMAZING and I say that loud, strong and proud. They make me so envious when they quit their jobs and do some multi-month, country hopping trip and post breathtaking photos or when they wear a fantastic outfit or swimsuit and are happy and confident. It makes me tear up a little even as their happy faces flash across my mind while I write this.

Comparing myself to other singles or to my friends’ of the similar age and where they are in their lives is a dark road to walk down. Wishing I had the lives of the women in the FB traveling groups, can be a tightrope walk as well.

But guess what? Comparison is the thief of joy.

My story is obviously not like anyone else. I have to figure it out on my own. I stumble a lot, but I am happier than I’ve ever been. I haven’t been able to travel as much as I would have liked in the past few years, but selling my house last May was the best decision! I’ve got two cruises planned!

As always
Single Mormon Lady

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