One of my favorite things in the world is an intellectual, meaningful conversation. It doesn’t really matter what the topic is. The ability to open your heart and mind to share what you really think or feel about a topic with someone you trust and respect is an amazing gift. Even better, the gift allows you to learn new things about someone, about the topic and to grow as a person! I feel like it’s a gift that is often set aside to deal with the to-do list of the day/week/month/year.
I recently had one such beautiful conversation with a dear friend of mine and she said 2018 was a terrible year and that she was looking forward to a fresh start in 2019. It was a small comment, but it really resonated with me. 2018 was an awful year for me. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. Let’s forget it ever happened! I haven’t written/posted in the blog for 2-3 months despite having plenty to say because my mind is so caught up in how dreadful things have been.
At the end of November, I took a solo trip to Hong Kong that just beat me up. It was not a good place for me. I don’t even want to discuss it, but I will say that I learned some very important lessons that I honestly feel the Lord wanted me to learn. In fact, I’m pretty sure He was standing there with His arms crossed, foot tapping, and brow lifted in amusement, consternation, and love when I recognized a few of the lessons that I am certain I was supposed to have learned years ago. I’m so damn stubborn that I always rush ahead in a complete “my way” or “I’ve got this” attitude. I’ve been so independent, doing things on my own for a long time, and I don’t know how to be any other way. Needing anyone for anything is painful, but actually asking for help is like having surgery with no anesthetic. However, even I know when to recognize that I am beaten and I can humble myself, let go of my stubborn pride, and ask for help. I managed to do it in Hong Kong and got the help I needed.
When I got home, it was like finding an oasis in the desert. Peace settled around me and things were just easier. I choose to align myself with the things I knew I needed to and it has been so much easier. Does that mean I won’t ever have to deal with hard things? No way! But when the hard things come, I’ll be better prepared to handle them.
“You don’t find the happy life, you make it.” – Thomas S. Monson
Single Mormon Lady