During a recent Marco Polo catch up with one of my dearest friends, I had a couple of epiphanies about my life and I’ve been pondering them for a couple of weeks. A little over a year ago, I posted about being single and happy and guess what? I still am! In fact, I feel that happiness has only increased. There’s a tendency for people to assume that if you’re female and unmarried that you must be unhappy. While there’s nothing wrong with wishing I was in a relationship, it also doesn’t mean I’m desperate or unhappy!
Being single is quite literally a rather solitary existence. It’s not always an easy lifestyle, whether chosen or not. All of the peers from my upbringing are married, most of them choosing to have children. Our lives are very different and unfortunately, there’s some sort of unspoken rule that the difference is too great of a divide. It’s difficult to stay in touch or be included, simply because our lives are so vastly different. I’ve been invited to activities before and while I’m happy to attend, I find myself drowning in conversations that are only about children. Once, I mentioned to my sister that very problem and her reply was just that it was their entire lives. I can understand that, but they’re still people with hopes and dreams beyond their kids right? Maybe that’s why it’s a divide because I can’t wrap my mind around that perspective. What happens when the kids are gone? Who are they going to be then?
Most of the self-help guru talk says that being single means that you have more time to improve yourself, focus on career, hobbies, and health. I’ve done a lot of growing up past couple of years and I’m more mature and sure of myself. There’s a level of confidence in getting what I want, like time to invest in things that actually matter to me: family, friends, traveling and reading.
Recently, I thought that my time would be wisely invested in getting a second degree. My company offers a degree program in business management for $1 a day and with my career path, it seemed like a wise choice. Unfortunately, six weeks in, it’s not a good use of my time. I hated college the first time around and my loathing hasn’t changed in the past 13 years since I graduated. Part of me was feeling like I’d let myself down, especially considering how many people I’d told about it, but then it hit me. Who cares? I need to do what makes me happy and school is not it.
I’m allowed to make choices that make sense for me and I don’t care what other people think.
Single Mormon Lady