Fake It Till You Make It

We’ve all heard the phrase. If you pretend or force yourself to behave a certain way, be it confidence, happiness, or competence, you’ll find that you have those qualities. In psychology, this would be a principal of cognitive behavioral therapy – recognizing a problem and changing the pattern of behavior for a better outcome.

There’s a great Forbes article that discusses why you should stop trying to fake it. On the flip side, there are a few articles that show why faking it is so positive, but my favorite is perhaps this one from Psychology Today. It states that “it only works when you correctly identify something within yourself that’s holding you back.” But how do you figure out what it is that is holding you back? Rather, how do I figure out what is holding me back?

I only made it through one hour of church yesterday and it was a struggle. It was our fast and testimony meeting – a special Sunday worship held the first Sunday of each month where you are to have fasted two meals before attending and members of the congregation who feel the Holy Spirit get up and bear their testimony at the pulpit for all to hear. It can be a great meeting, but it can also really try one’s nerves. I’m pleased that others get so excited by their faith, but sometimes the excited expression of it grates. Perhaps it’s my own shortcomings that make it a struggle.

As I sat there, trying to be open to the spirit, I was thinking about my own happiness and the idea I had of the blog and I wondered – why did I define myself as the Single Mormon Lady? Is that what defines me? I am each of those things and it is catchy and it suits, but who cares about being single? It’s really only a big deal in Mormon world and why am I letting it define me? Why do I worry so much about being single? Should I make the decision to be single and go with it? Can I do that without holding out some sort of hope in the back of my mind that one day it will all work out?

I find myself happy with my life and situation most of the time, but there are other times that faking it till I make it seems like it’s not getting me anywhere.

As always,
Single Mormon Lady

Welcome to my new adventure

I’ve been struggling with sleep the past few nights, mostly due to stress. Last night, I slept really well and woke up only once in the night, but when I woke up this morning, I got this crazy idea to start a blog or vlog for single Mormons.

The idea hit me hard and fast and my mind went into overdrive thinking of all the possibilities. Since I’m not the type to be on camera, I knew this idea wasn’t all mine. I haven’t worked out all the details yet of how this blog will work, but it’s something I have to at least try.

Being raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS or Mormon) is an important part of my life. I haven’t always been active and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. It’s not easy, especially being 36 and never married, with no prospects. My religion is one based firmly in families. When you’re single and no kids, it can leave you feeling uncomfortable, out of place, unwelcome. Yet, I still have faith and a testimony in the gospel.

I know how hard it can be. I know you can have good days and bad days. I also know that you can be happy. My experiences are my own, but perhaps I something I have gone through or something I can say will help others.

As always,
Single Mormon Lady